Our guest blogger is Camarie Roorda. I asked Cami to write about her experience with coaching because no matter the world you live in, her words ring true. The mental game in competition, whether rodeo or pageants is one that needs to be talked about. What goes on in your mind could very likely be holding you back. It might be negative talk, nerves, or it might just be “noise”. But I can tell you from experience, that if I had someone to talk with and help me walk through what was going on in my mind when I was competing, who knows what other paths could’ve been open, perhaps even additional titles. Thanks Cami for shedding light on a topic we don’t talk about enough!
–Katie, Queen Connection
I’d like to share a story of growing up with my parents, specifically my mom, as my main rodeo coach.
I often found myself frustrated, unwilling, and uncharacteristically stubborn when it came to getting advice and coaching from my parents, especially my mom. I played other sports successfully, was active in speech, in drama, and extremely involved with my FFA chapter as President and as an FFA competitor. When we went to nationals, we went to win!
Like many families who rodeo together, it had some rough moments. I absolutely loved to rodeo with my parents and sincerely appreciated the time, money, and effort they put into my rodeo dreams and goals, but getting coaching from them was really hard sometimes.
I knew I was coachable. Other people could coach me without any issues. If took me YEARS to understood why I struggled so much to accept help from the people who loved me most. I’m still honestly not sure when it actually happened. I know that after coaching hundreds of youth rodeo athletes and actually having the tables turned and coaching my mom for awhile after she had multiple injuries, it all made sense.
I’ve never doubted that my parents loved me or wanted the best for me. I knew they wanted me to succeed and would do anything they knew how to in order to help me achieve my goals. I KNEW that without a doubt. BUT… it didn’t make getting coaching from them easier.
I struggled, and still do sometimes today, to take coaching from my parents because they were the people I LEAST wanted to disappoint. When they gave me advice, the STORY I told myself, was that I wasn’t good enough for them. I didn’t have the ability they thought I needed. I wasn’t making them proud. I was disappointing them.
Was any of that true, ABSOLUTELY NOT! In no way, shape, or form is that what they meant by any kind of coaching, advice, critiquing or help they were offering me. They sincerely wanted to help me succeed, but I couldn’t see that through the story my head had created.
Today, I’ve debunked the myth of the story I somehow created over time. To this day, I don’t know why or how the story escalated to the level it did. I guess that’s the continuous mystery of the human brain, subconscious or whatever else call the things we don’t understand.
I hope if you’re a kid reading this, you know you’re not alone for having the feelings that you have. I also hope that they next time you want to clam up and get mad at your parents in the practice pen, you take a minute to stop and ask yourself, what’s the story and is it true?
If you’re a parent reading this, I hope you know, it’s normal. Your kids just want to make you proud. Next time they lash out, snap, or come back with a snide comment, that you take a moment to ask yourself, how did I present that and what else could it be? I also encourage you to get your kids some lessons and outside coaching! Not only will it take the pressure off your kids to impress you and make you proud all the time, but it will give you someone to lean on when you’re trying to get a point across. I promise, it comes off a lot better when you ask, “What would you _____ say about ______.”
If you’ve done all of this and you find that you’re still in a communication jam, you aren’t alone! Please, schedule a coaching call. We offer them for youth rodeo athletes and parents! It takes a village, but you also have to use the resources in the village for the village to serve its purpose!
Camarie Roorda, grew up in a rodeo family who trained horses, competed professionally, and produced rodeos. As she progressed from high school, to college, amateur and professional rodeos, she started providing lessons for youth and training ponies. That’s when she saw a need for quality pony products, which led her to the founding of the Performance Pony Company. She is also the founder of RodeoKids, a non-profit